Success
Met up with a friend this afternoon over lunch and gained a major distinction regarding SUCCESS. I finally understood what Dalai Lama meant, “Measure your success not by the things you gain but rather what do you have to give up in order to have them”. In the midst of my next business milestone, next revenue barrier breaker, next ground breaking marketing and advertising idea, my ideal home, my ideal car, my investment portfolio etc, what did I give up over the past 4-5 years?
1. Family (Not married, no children)
2. My relationship with my mum and youngest aunt are virtually non-existence
3. Limited time with close friends. I dare to admit that I have less than 3 really close friends. In fact, I need less than a table for my own wake.
4. Traveling
5. Shopping (Until recently. The most expensive item I got for myself for the past 32 years is a S$1,260 SEIKO watch which I suspect might last me for at least another 32 years)
6. Health. (I woke after my dad’s cancer recently. I start eating healthier and exercise more regularly. I lost 8 kg)
I knew of these 2 businessmen who are successful in their own area. However, both end up with no friends when they are in their mid and late forties. One placed a value on everyone head and constantly thinking of leveraging people around him. There is nothing in his live except business, business and you guess it, business. The second, tried to buy friendship with money. Both, I take as a mentor: not to be like them.
Then, there is another young friend that my friend at lunch and I know: big heart, always with a sunshine smile and high energy to LOVE and care for people around him. Recently, friends organized a surprise birthday party for him at a local hotel; some even flew back secretly to give him a surprise. This young man cried on the spot. My friend over lunch said softly: “I give up all these relationships over the last 5 years for my business”. I muttered, “Me too”
I will now take my time to eat my strawberry, smell the flower and yes, call my close friends.
P/S: What did you give up?
Tags: Dalai Lama, success
Richelle Lim Shuling said,
June 20, 2007 @ 7:23 pm
Dear Ken,
Thank you for such an honest posting. What you’ve shared is something
that’s often played down in stories and interviews with successful people.
Yes, they do mention sacrifice and giving up things like their social life
and personal relationships. However, never as candidly and honestly
as you’ve shared of yourself.
Your post has gotten me sitting and staring into
space at my laptop - thinking and wondering what I’ve given up.
My truth at the moment is that I’ve given up friendships and time with family.
Thankfully, I’ve also given up false images of myself and grown tremendously
as a person.
Thank you for your posting again, Ken because it’s reminded me to treasure the
people I love and the time we have together. I wish you peace, love and joy Ken!
Kok Koon said,
June 20, 2007 @ 10:57 pm
Hi Ken,
Don’t know if you still remember me.
Thanks for reminding all of us to invest time with what matters.
Cheers!
Jasmine said,
July 11, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
Hi Ken,
Dont know if you still remember me, your old neighbour in West Coast, the 3 sisters. Saw your blog and found out about your father’s health. Send my regards to him and also say hello to your brother!
Ah Kuan
pea said,
July 9, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Hi Ken,
my regards to your dad, hope he’s doing better.
pea (a friend from quite some time ago
)